It’s always educational to do a little a historical traveling, see the world through the eyes of its past inhabitants. Even one of the most infamous figures of the 20th century, Alphonse Capone, faced the same dilemmas we do today when it came to choosing his hotels and, just like most people, adequate bathroom facilities ranked high on the kingpin’s list of must haves. Having spent time in a number of hotels in Chicago, here are just a few in which Al Capone most certainly took a dump.

The Lexington Hotel

Although, by all reasonable assumption, Capone took a bevy of them during his stay, the Lexington Hotel on Michigan Ave on the south side of Chicago was certainly no dump itself. This luxury high rise once hosted former president of the United States, Benjamin Harrison, who addressed the citizens with a speech from his balcony. The Lexington became Capone’s home and headquarters for roughly five years–enough time to make the place his own, which included customizing the crapper. When not dropping steaming floaters in the latrine, Capone would use the ingeniously designed secret stairwell behind the medicine cabinet to visit his mistress, whom he had tucked away on a separate floor.

The Metropole Hotel

Less than two blocks from the Lexington, the Metropole also welcomed the gangster known as “Scarface” for several years. While there were no secret stairwells that we are aware of, at one point Mr. Capone did have a gymnasium installed in the hotel. One would figure that with all that exercising, in addition to an already furious cocaine habit, he must’ve been a frequent visitor to the can. According to the always-trustworthy random message board (courtesy of forgottenchicago.com), “When someone threw a large stinkbomb in the lobby, my grandfather asked Al Capone to kindly find another hotel to live in and he graciously complied.” Perhaps this rare sign of obedience can lead us to believe that the “stinkbomb” in question came out of Mr. Capone himself during a mad dash to the head? Responsible journalistic deduction leaves no other conclusion.

The Four Deuces

Yup. Shit you not, the Four Deuces was the name of an actual hotel (more of a brothel) in which Al Capone resided. Of course, if it were being literal, the establishment on Wabash Ave would be called “Thousands Upon Thousands of Deuces,” considering that the legendary bootlegger spent a good chunk of the roaring-twenties there. In fact, the Four Deuces was the first place Al arrived after moving across the country. It’s not hard to imagine this young entrepreneur from Brooklyn, after a long trip, walking through the front entrance, dropping his bags, and demanding to know where the “fucking john” was. The first of many f-bombs and toilet bombs this town would receive, courtesy of Alphonse Capone.