Smart travelers get the most out of their vacation by being as prepared as possible. With that in mind, let Sauntyr help you plan ahead with this thoroughly researched guide of things to do in Los Angeles in 2032.

First thing to know is that after the 2010 Great Earthquake, the former cities of Los Angeles, San Diego and Santa Barbara have merged into a pseudo-utopian “San Angeles,” under the pacifist guidance and control of a Dr. Raymond Cocteau. So, don’t walk around calling it “Los Angeles” unless you wanna get pegged for a tourist.

Culture

Those new to the area and time period may sense a bit of culture shock. Don’t worry, it’s common and will subside within a few days. Visitors will quickly notice that weapons and vices are outlawed, certain human behavior (sex, bad words, etc.) are prohibited or heavily regulated, and most citizens carry implanted transceivers. So, remember to keep a clean mouth, because even a mumbled curse word will result in a ticketed fine–one that prints out of a nearby police installed listening device. This is just one of the reasons why 2032 San Angeles is an ideal family destination.

Attractions

The famous San Angeles Museum of History is a must stop when visiting this future metropolis. Exhibits include authentic 20th century street scenes and other life-size dioramas. And since all weapons are banned by law, the most popular destination within the museum is the armory and its “Hall of Violence,” where visitors can get an up-close look at an array of assault weapons behind a thin sheet of glass. Fun fact: every gun is fully loaded.

Dining

Here’s where most travel books will tell you that, in 2032 San Angeles, there is literally one option when it comes to eating out: Taco Bell. They’ll explain how it’s the only restaurant left standing after the “Franchise Wars” and is now more of an upscale gastropub, with valet parking and live music. While this is true, what those books fail to mention is that, just off-the-beaten path, there’s another option– simply climb down a sewer manhole, joining the resistance fighters living in the old LA ruins beneath the city, and you’ll get the chance to bite into an authentic San Angeles, organic, sewage-fed rat burger.

Facilities

Last but not least, understanding the bathroom facilities may take some adjustment. Most tourists quickly notice that there is no toilet paper in restrooms–only three seashells on a shelf. Unfortunately, the locals, as friendly as they normally are, are resistant to explain how to properly use these shells for personal sanitation. Instead, your inquiries will most likely receive befuddled looks and a few chuckles. To be safe, bring a few extra rolls of TP in your luggage. Or put that potty-mouth to good use and stock up on those foul-language tickets for when you’re in a pinch (granted, this is not the most cost-effective option).

So, while a visit to 2032 San Angeles is certainly a new experience for most, don’t let it stop you from fully embracing this elite, civilized society. While some have expressed concern over the fact that no police officers possess, or even know how to operate, weapons of any kind, there’s no need to fret. All criminals (mostly savages from the 20th century) are cryogenically frozen in the local prison where this is zero chance of them escaping and wreaking havoc on this indefensible city.

Source: Demolition Man Wikipedia Page